my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
