so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
