I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize