i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
