We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
