Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
