we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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