I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
try to milk me bitch
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