i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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