whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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