oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
