Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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