I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I hope mine doesn't look like that
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Terrible idea I love it
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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