Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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