You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
