Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
