Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
