I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
