Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
