If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
