I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
