Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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