Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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