Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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