He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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