Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
