okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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