3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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