she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize