There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
