Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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