I want to stick my p in your. b.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
50% drunk capacity currently
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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