Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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