she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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