I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize