my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
