Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
