Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
