Nicole vs. Life
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
