You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
