i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
