i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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