I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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