i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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