I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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