He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
