My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
