Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
