I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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