Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
