I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
