is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
