Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Drake has all the answers
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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