I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
