So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
