This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
