i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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