you're like a bully in the Christmas story
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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